Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Love Your Green-eyed Monster

Envy: A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.

A friend of mine from a writing group just received an amazing book deal that she worked her butt off to get.  When I learned about it, I immediately congratulated her. Way to go again, Laura!!!

After I hit send on the message, my green-eyed monster poked its head out from the cage I normally keep it locked in and promptly set to rattling my thoughts.

I allowed myself five minutes (I know because I watched the clock) of gosh I wish that were me, and then I put my monster to work.
If I’m stuck with this nasty creature and feed it from time to time, by golly I’m putting it to work. What’s its job?

To motivate me to strive harder to achieve what I want. 

Yes, your monster can be a force for good...
...instead of evil.
And if you think you don’t have a green-eyed monster—some are bigger and uglier than others—or you don’t have an envious bone in your body, I say you must be Mary Poppins, Deepak Chopra, or a liar.
Some unfortunate people let their green-eyed monster pollute their souls. Before they know it, the only thing they've accomplished is to fill their hearts with bitterness.

Need an example to fully grasp what I’m saying, then check out the movie Amadeus.

It’s healthier to acknowledge your monster, love it even, but make it serve you, not the other way around. When friends, colleagues, heck anyone you know does well or succeeds in some area (finds love, wins the lotto, loses fifty pounds, plays an instrument better than you, sings like an angel while you croak out a song in the shower daydreaming about American Idol…you get it), WISH THEM WELL.


Why? There isn’t some finite amount of success in the universe. If someone else does well, it is not diminishing your chances or stealing your opportunity. There is plenty to go around and a little good karma can’t hurt!
Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for another month of IWSG.


  1. An excellent tip. Make the monster work fo you!

    Moody Writing

  2. Very inspirational post, thank you for sharing.

  3. Great post! It;s definitely a good idea to make the monster motivate you, instead of bring you down!

  4. LOve your skew on the monster. It's actually worked for me too. What I really need it to do is bite my ass when I slack off.

  5. It's weird, but I don't get jealous when it comes to this industry. I'm either excited or indifferent. When my friends share their good news, I can't wait to tell everyone. Not once do I have a "why them and not me?" moment. I know they worked hard for it. I've worked hard too, and my time will eventually come.

  6. I am not the jealous type, but I do admit to having times when "I wish it were me."

  7. I kind of wish I had one of those monsters to keep me motivated. :) Great post.

  8. Mooderino - Better to make it work for you than against you.

    Heather - Glad you enjoyed it.

    Kyra - I agree.

    Em - Wouldn't that be great, lol.

    Stina - We all have our areas. For my BFF it was seeing pregnant women until she finally had her little one. I believe if something is meant to happen it will. No need to get worked up over it.

    Starting Over - My 'wish it were me' moments are pretty fleeting and thankfully don't happen very often.

    Tonja - As long as you have something to keep you motivated.

  9. Ha! I had to laugh, because that's exactly what I do. When I see someone else's good news I'm very happy for them, and I'm also very motivated to get what they got. Mush, you green-eyed monster!!

  10. Nice to meet you! Thanks for sharing and saying it like it is! :D
    Yes, off to feed mine~ My Monster eats pencils and pistachio nuts, shells included, lol

    I am the same way...I'm happy for them, truly happy!
    Then the angst of greenness oozes out. It doesn't last long, but I have to shove it back in my craft closet and feed it some pencils!

  11. I like that... putting the monster to work. :)

  12. So true. The trick is not to be consumed by the monster.

  13. I love your official site, but it took me forever to find a link to your blog. Naturally, it was in the last place I looked. :P
    Congrats on your book! I love the cover, and really enjoyed this green-eyed monster post. We all have those inside us...

  14. Sadly, I know some bitter people.
    There is room for everyone to succeed though.

  15. It's eary to catch that green-eyed monster trying to sneak out and take over. I do my best to not let him out in the first place, but sometimes he's out before you realize it. GReat post.

  16. Thank goodness you've trained your monster to fight for good! Great positive spin on an emotion we all try to keep at bay! Julie

  17. Excellent post and advice. 'Make it serve you,' I like that attitude!

  18. Great post! "If someone else does well, it is not diminishing your chances or stealing your opportunity."

  19. I like how you deal with your green-eyed monster. :)

  20. I like how you deal with your green-eyed monster. :D

  21. Amen to that! We all have it happen. It's only natural. I like your idea of embracing it and putting it to work. There will always be someone else with a better deal or more popular book, but we have to love our own paths for what they are.

  22. Love this post! I like how you put your green eyed monster on a timer!

  23. Goat dung! Why did you have to say Mary Poppins or Deepak? Sheesh.

    Yeah, I don't find myself to be jealous as much as I want to do as well or better. I do my best to remain humble, but yeah, those moments do arise.

    Good lookin' out.

  24. We all have the green-eyed monster lurking within at times. Staying focused on the positive is incredibly challenging, but doable. Love this honest post!