Monday, September 19, 2011

Worst Movies Ever


Today, I am having some fun in Alex J. Cavanaugh’s Worst Movies Ever blogfest.

My list is completely subjective, of course. I’m sure worse movies have been made, but I listed ones I hadn’t deleted from memory that left me so bitter I had wasted a single minute of my life watching it. I apologize in advance if I listed a film you enjoyed, or dare I say even loved.



10. Phantasm IV Oblivion: This was the last installment in a series, which compounded my disappointment. The movie went in weird circles and crazy loops, like it wanted to lose the audience in oblivion. Mission accomplished.


9. In the Army Now: I didn’t know who Pauley Shore was when I saw this. I was in the Army at the time, hoping for a good laugh. This was the first movie I ever walked out of in the movie theater.



8. Catwoman: If Halle Berry had a time machine, this would be ample reason for her to use it. I blame her for taking the role, but the director, Pitof, should be punished for making this pitiful mockery of a character I grew up loving. Pitof took a phenomenal role, played perfectly by Eartha Kitt, Julie Newmar, and Michelle Pfeiffer (the best catwoman IMO) and trashed it with that horrible costume and forcing Halle Berry to play with yarn. Come on!



7. Shadows and Lies: A film with decent actors, but no plot…at all.



6. MacGruber:
Dear SNL,

You have some hilarious skits that have made enjoyable movies. This was not one of them. I prayed this film would improve since it was based on one of your funny characters and had solid comedic actors. It never did, and I feel cheated. I want a refund, of my time.

~Signed A Former Loyal Fan



5. The Spirit: A blur of Sin City type visuals, horrendous dialogue, lots of poses w/ poor acting, all wrapped around a flimsy, incoherent plot.



4. Troll 2: OMG! What more can be said?



3. House of the Dead: Bad acting, bad plot, bad everything.



2. The Last Godfather: Harvey Keitel was in this. I thought it couldn’t be ‘that bad’. I was so wrong. It wasn’t simply bad, it was AWFUL.



1. Kung Pow: I couldn’t make it through the entire 81 minutes of this mistake movie. After ten minutes, I wanted to poke my eyes out with toothpicks. After twenty, I wanted to spare my ears with more toothpicks. After thirty, I simply gave up and shut it off. I was so relieved, but at the same time I wanted to punch myself in the face for not ending my torment sooner.



Admitting you even watched a particular film can be humiliating, I know, but we're all friends and it will stay within our private circle. So share. What's the worst movie you've ever seen?

To return to the blogfest list click HERE. Big thanks to Alex for organizing this!

71 comments:

  1. I almost put in Cat Woman, then didn't :)

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  2. I... don't know. Either I manage to miss every really sucky movie, or my mind managed to block out every traumatic experience...

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  3. Haven't seen the others but I'm with you on catwoman :-)

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  4. We have two in common! And I knew of Pauly Shore so avoided his movies like the plague. Good picks and thanks for participating in the blogfest.

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  5. Ohh the Spirit was terrible... but OMG Kung Pow makes me laugh so much, even though it is bad...hehe

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  6. Haven't seen any of these, and it sounds like that's a good thing! Lol...

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  7. Wow. I haven't seen any of those. Guess I lucked out! *grin*

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  8. wholly-molley... i loved 5 of your choices, but for my defense i am friends with reggie bannistar from phantasm. i love pauly shore, i know he is a turdkey...

    jeremy
    twothumbseightfingers.blogspot.com

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  9. There is a documentary about Troll2 that I want to see called the Best worst movie ever made or something like that. While it is bad, it is also awesome.

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  10. I too lucked out...not seen one of those. Unfortunately, I've paid to see some very mediocre ones lately.

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  11. I can honestly say I have not had the misfortune of seeing any of these films. Actually, I haven't even heard of half of them. Lucky me. :)

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  12. I totally forgot about MacGruber. Terrible, terrible. Watching paint dry is funnier. Great list!

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  13. I am so relieved. I haven't seen one movie on the list! If I have, it was so bad that I"ve blocked it from my memory. I love movies and thought about watching That type of movie is real hit-or-miss with me. You have saved me. Thanks!

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  14. I guess I don't watch enough movies to see really bad ones. Hubs is the Mr. Movie guy around here. If he says it's not a great movie, I Believe him. I've watched a few *B* movies, but not many. I hear you on Catwoman.

    Sia McKye's Thoughts...OVER COFFEE

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  15. My post above was supposed to say "thought about watching MacGruber". I guess I accidentally deleted that part.

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  16. I'm definitely glad I missed Catwoman, given how many times this has cropped up in the blogfest thus far.

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  17. The only one I've seen is Catwoman, and although everyone says it sucks, I still liked it. Granted, it wasn't the best of movies. I've always been partial to a cat-woman. :)

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  18. Catwoman makes the list again! Rowr!

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  19. OMG, I almost forgot about MacGruber. It was such a terrible movie. Catwoman was super-cheesy, but I gave it a 3 for the effort. LOL.

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  20. Great list. I think all of Pauly Shore's movies should be on here. From what I'm seeing Catwoman is on quite a few lists.

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  21. LOL! This is a great list. The Spirit was really, really bad, that's for sure! Thankfully, I have only seen a few of the others.

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  22. Haha, this is the second list I've seen that featured Troll 2. I've heard that movie was absolutely awful. Seems to be a popular opinion.

    And yes, Catwoman has been on two lists, too!

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  23. A few of those I've forgotten about! Ha! I think I'll let them stay forgotten. I watched all of The Spirit. I think I was feeling masochistic that day.

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  24. The worst movie I've ever half seen (I walked out) was "Seven". I know it was a big hit, but to me it was evil. The only one on your list I have seen is Catwoman, which I did not enjoy at all. :)

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  25. House of the Dead seems to be making it onto a lot of lists!

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  26. Ha ha I've never seen most of these, but just reading about them makes me laugh. Catwoman definitely seems to be a popular choice for this fest. This is a funny blogfest! :D

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  27. Okay, so I thought Kung Pow and MacGruber were pretty darn funny. The rest of your list I could not agree more.

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  28. Damyanti ~ It was toss up between that and Glitter, but since I grew up loving Catwoman, had to put it down.

    Misha ~ Trauma has blocked out many movies for me. Don't feel bad.

    Sarah ~ So bad!

    Alex ~ Thanks for hosting it.

    Tania ~ You make me laugh, :).

    Clarissa ~ You are lucky.

    Crystal ~ Thank heaven you were spared.

    Linda ~ Yes you did :)!

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  29. Jeremy ~ 5 out of 10 is not bad.

    Bud ~ You'll have to tell me about the documentary. Can't stomach anymore.

    Em ~ The mediocre ones catch us all. Be grateful you bypassed these films.

    L.G. ~ You are so lucky!!!

    Julie ~ I wish I could forget about MacGruber.

    Brinda ~ My work is done.

    Sia ~ I try to see a lot, even the okay and bad ones so I can make my own decision.

    Carol ~ Do a happy dance you were spared.

    Jeffrey ~ The movie never should have been made.

    Laila ~ For me, there were too many good Catwomen before this one. That's why it made my list.

    Lydia ~ Ha-Ha!

    Nebular (George) ~ Wish I could forget MacGruber.

    Mariah ~ Pauley Shore shouldn't make movies.

    Heather ~ The Spirit sucked.

    Steph ~ Those are solid choices in my opinion.

    Christine ~ Unfortunately, I watched all of The Spirit as well. Don't know what I was thinking.

    Belle ~ I thought Seven was good movie, but didn't like it because it was so dark and evil. If that makes any sense.

    Golden Eagle ~ Lots of Uwe Boll movies should be on the list.

    Julie ~ It was definitely a stinker.

    Stephen ~ Not sure what to say. They were just so bad to me. Thanks for stopping by.

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  30. I'm seeing Catwoman on a lot of lists. I guess I didn't miss anything!

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  31. LOL I love this list and the way you describe how they made you feel. I want my time back for MacGruber as well. It's pretty hard to pick the absolute worst as there are so very many bad ones. ;)

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  32. Haven't seen any of these. LOL. Probably saved myself some serious trauma.

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  33. Wow, a couple I recognize, but never saw any of these. Good list, now I know what to steer clear of! :D

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  34. Great list! I agree on all of them. I was disappointed with the Phantasm franchise, I remember watching the first one and being so terrified when I was younger. :)

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  35. Very awesome list, I think I really have to agree with you on all of them, to be sure. I especially loved your open letter to SNL. They should know they cant get away with things so easily, just because they're SNL!

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  36. I really need to watch more movies. Not these though!

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  37. I forgot about MacGruber. I wanted it to be better. It could have been so much better ... and funnier.

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  38. A lot of these I haven't seen. That might be a good thing ;)

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  39. MacGruber - YES!!! I can't believe I forgot that one. That might be my #2 all time worst.

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  40. Michelle Pfeiffer rocked as catwoman. meow!

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  41. How lucky am I! I've only seen one of those - Catwoman... and I'm ashamed to admit I kinda liked it. Well, up until she actually became Catwoman. It was all downhill after that.

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  42. Isis, waving hello from campaign on behalf of Romance & Beyond. Trying to figure out why you even watched those movies, LOL! I imagine you've had a few 'What was I thinking?' moments. Have to admit, I watched Catwoman, too.

    On the other hand, you can learn lessons from movies that you can apply to writing, including what not to do.

    This is my first visit to your site. I shall return.

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  43. Haven't seen any of these, but I'll take your for it and avoid these - not that I'm a movie watcher of anything. :)

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  44. Hmmm, lots of movies here and I've only seen one or two? Great bad list! ;)


    ♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥

    Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?

    YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!

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  45. The only movie on your list that I've seen is Catwoman. Honestly, the only thing I remember thinking is how bad ass it would be to have the figure for the Catwoman suit. I suppose the envy protected me from it's utter terribleness. Plus, I think Benjamin Bratt was in it so I had ample distraction - because of him - to ignore how bad the movie really was. :-)

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  46. Yowza... I haven't see any of these, and I have to say: I'm thankful! Fantastic (um, I guess that's the right word...) list! :)

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  47. Great choices! I should have put Pauly Shore too. I met him once and vowed to never watch anything he was in! Great post!

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  48. Great choices! House of the dead and Catwoman, i agree 100% :) Thanks for visiting my blog, im a new follower on blog n twitter! Cheers :)

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  49. Great list of bad movies. :) I haven't even heard of some of them.

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  50. Is Pauly Shore still acting? I never understood how he was cast in a starring role! MacGruber was the best on SNL when Betty White was in it. It also didn't make sense to me that this skit was thought capable of carrying an entire movie. Julie

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  51. I have to admit - I have never seen any of those - and based on this - I'm super glad. Though! My husband seems to think Kung Pow is a great movie - he tries to get me to watch it - but i haven't given in.

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  52. Paul ~ Consider yourself lucky.

    Melissa ~ The worst part is when you hang in there, hoping for improvement only to waste more time.

    Rashelle ~ You were spared.

    Caledonia ~ Glad I could save you.

    Amy ~ Me too! Gave me nightmares.

    AG ~ Even SNL must be held accountable.

    L. Diane ~ Don't waste a minute on any of these.

    M Pax ~ It had such potential.

    Baygirl ~ If only I knew sooner.

    Lynda ~ You are so fortunate.

    Alleged Author ~ I was a fool for watching the second one.

    Jennie ~ It was so bad. Right?

    MsHatch ~ She was the best one.

    Doralynn ~ Ha-ha.

    Sherry ~ Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again.

    JL ~ Happy to be of service.

    Shelly ~ Glad to see Troll 2 made another list :).

    Elizabeth ~ Thank you.

    Angela ~ Benjamin is a hottie.

    Katy ~ Hehe. Yowza is right.

    Sand Castles ~ Never again.

    Murugi ~ Thank you. Glad you liked them. Appreciate the follow.

    Ciara ~ Be thankful.

    Julie ~ Two minutes for MacGruber, sure. Two hours? Mistake.

    Pabkins ~ Resist. Don't see it.

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  53. I haven't seen any of these. I've lived a sheltered life.

    Dave
    Dave Wrote This

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  54. Hi there - congrats on your award!
    Since we both won the award, I thought I'd *follow* all the awardees! I'm your #500!
    xoxo
    ~ Nay ~
    http://www.covertocoverandbetween.blogspot.com

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  55. Wow, I have seen any of them, and a majority I haven't even heard of.

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  56. Thankfully, I've managed to avoid all of these! I do remember the army one with Pauly, though.

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  57. Dave ~ Sometimes sheltered is good, especially if it means you missed those films.

    Nay ~ Thanks for being my 500!!

    Stina ~ You are such a lucky woman.

    Talli ~ I wish I'd had the fortune of missing them.

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  58. Stopping by the blog today to say that I've given you the Versatile Blogger award. I know this award has been around awhile and you may have received it already, but if not, come and claim it here: http://tinamoss.blogspot.com/2011/09/writer-wednesday-versatile-blogger.html

    Thanks for all you do in the blog-o-sphere! :)

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  59. Hi Iris - Thanks for joining my blog - I LOVE your artwork, it is absolutely awesome!

    Bad movies? Joe Dirt has to rank pretty high among them!

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  60. Kung Pow was so bad I actually loved it and was hoping for a sequel I could torture myself with. The deleted scenes are even worse than the rest of the movie and I watched them too! Don't tell anyone, but I own a DVD copy. O_O

    I disliked Catwoman a lot, despite having a crush on Halle Berry. She is so hot, but the movie didn't make it worth the time I spent staring at my watch in the theater. I just wanted to get out of there more than anything, but I'm never one to leave a movie I paid full price for. I have to get my money's worth, even if I'm more interested in the gum on the back of the chair in front of me.

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  61. I think they just wanted to see Halle in leather. You have some really awful ones here. Gee whiz there've been some bad movies made. And seriously, Troll 3? WHat a waste of time and money. It makes you wonder what goes thru these peeps' heads...

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  62. I know Kung Pow was bad, but sometimes I like bad movies. LOL. I do agree on Phastasm Oblivion and definitely In the Army Now.

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  63. Tina ~ Thanks so much. I have received the award, but I'll be sure to swing by and thank you.

    Amy ~ Joe Dirt was pretty bad. Must have blocked that one from my memory.

    TL ~ Ha-ha! Catwoman had the potential to be good. Oh well.

    PK ~ I think there was a streak of horrendous movies in the 80's like the Troll franchise. Not sure the reason behind it.

    Kan ~ Some folks like it bad. For me, I pass.

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  64. haha... i too was lost in phantasm IV. loved part one though. and still need to see troll 2, troll 1 was gloriously bad!

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  65. I missed seeing all of these. Guess I'll keep it that way.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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