Monday, September 5, 2011

First Campaigner Challenge

After the fatigue from hitting all of the blogs in my groups (my zeal led me to join four groups and I underestimated the time involved), I honestly wondered if I could muster genuine enthusiasm for the first challenge. Well, Rachael Harrie hasn’t disappointed me. It was fun to write and I’m looking forward to reading as many entries as possible.

So what’s the first challenge?

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!
I couldn't resist, so mine is 200 words.


INSATIABLE


The door swung open. Monty charged into the room.

Heart pounding, Geneva shoved the box under the bed. She scrambled to her feet, adjusting her silk robe. Had he seen it?

She pulled on a soft smile. “You’re home early.”

“Do you think I’m a fool? You swore you’d give it up. Enough is enough.”

It’d never be enough. She’d tried to stop, but it didn’t take long for something new and sexy to catch her eye. Sleek and built to please. “I promise—”

“No more lies!” Monty stalked toward her, eyes wild, backing her into the wall. “You have an addiction. I love you, sweetheart, but I won’t enable you anymore. I’ve frozen all of your credit cards.”

Geneva gasped. “How could you?”

”Either get help from a professional or get a job to pay for your compulsion.”

As Monty spun on his heels, Geneva’s gaze fell to the strappy heels peeking out from under the bed. The euphoric high a new pair of incredible shoes always gave washed in like the tide, submerging her fear.

She didn’t need a shrink. She needed money. For the love of Jimmy Choo, she’d find a job.

The door swung shut.



To return to the challenge homepage, click HERE.

82 comments:

  1. Really cool challenge and you had the opening and the closing lines. These sorts of challenges really help your writing skills. Well done!

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  2. Aha. Shoping! What wonders. That was fun.

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  3. Good Lord! you must have known I bought 10 pairs of shoes back from my holiday in Asia last month...lol. Love this Isis.

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  4. Ha ha ha ha! Love it! I actually used to work with a lady who hid her latest shoe purchases in a cabinet in her office at work so her husband wouldn't know she'd spent more money to indulge her addiction. Nicely done!!

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  5. Nice, quick portrait of a shopping addict. Great idea!

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  6. I truly hope Geneva finds a job. For the love of Jimmy Choo!
    Seriously, great post, I enjoyed reading it. Love your narrative voice.

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  7. Love it! I have this little shoe-thingie going on, too. The Jimmy Choo line was cool. Great job.

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  8. For the love of Jimmy Choo, I'd get a job too! Those are awesome shoes.

    Loved it. Well done.

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  9. Love the topic you chose and love the "For the love of Jimmy Choo..." line. I'd totally keep reading if this was the first scene in a novel. :)

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  10. That's great! Knew I wouldn't be doing the first challenge. I haven't even followed all those in my one group, so don't know how you've managed with four.

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  11. I've almost hit all the people in my group but with my hubby throwing me a surprise birthday party this weekend and all the out of town guests, I've not gotten to the challenge. :( I do have a great special guest today, though. GREAT JOB, on the challenge. I loved the 'For the love of Jimmy Choo..." :)

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  12. You give it away too soon by saying he spun on his heels... or was that intentional to repeat 'heels' twice in two sentences?

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  13. Shoe addictions are deadly things. And I love that line: For the love of Jimmy Choo..." That's just a great, comedic line delivered at the exact right time.

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  14. Excellent entry, loved it! And now I want a new pair of shoes oddly... ;)

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  15. how bout at a strappy shoe store!
    good one!

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  16. Brilliant! I didn't guess shoes at all. That was a wonderful little twist.

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  17. Love it.
    Hubby said I needed to get a book published before I could get Jimmy Choo's. Sigh.

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  18. HAHAHAHA! That was completely unexpected. Loved it!

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  19. I look forward to your 10 facts later this week!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog.
    Your story is hysterical! I wish I could wear Jimmy Choo's, but alas a surgery stopped that addiction cold.
    Great to be campaign buddies!

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  20. I rather enjoyed this. I see a job for Manolo Blahnik in her future. Very excellent work.

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  21. Yes, I too underestimated the difficulty of following so many blogs ^^;

    But that was a great piece! You built the suspense so well, and I was expecting something far darker than shoes! Nicely done ^_^

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  22. Great! I love it. It's simple, and it tells a great story :D

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  23. Hahahahaha, for the love of Jimmy Choo, I love it :D

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  24. This is hilarious!! How many women have been here before? I LOVE it!

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  25. This was awesome! Love me some Choo's and so happy to see another girl, who feels the same!

    Great voice - nailed it in 200 words. Fab job!

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  26. Shoes!!! That was terrific and totally unexpected!

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  27. I laughed at this. Love it. I can imagine the scene unfolding. It's great. Good luck in the challenge.

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  28. This was great. I loved it that her addiction turned out to be shoes! And the whole scene flowed along so nicely!

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  29. Loved your story -- great twist! Clever.

    Patricia T.

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  30. Huh, that was not at all what I was expecting her to be addicted to... I guess I'm a little behind the girl curve, or maybe I just have a dirty mind.
    -Aaron

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  31. Love it, and totally relatable =P

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  32. Never get between a woman and her shoes! (Actually, I was expecting the item in the box to be a vibrator at first, heh)

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  33. Very fun, I think this is something every woman can relate to! It was a nice twist, I was expecting drugs or something in the box. Or pictures of an old boyfriend. My husband seems to think if I can buy that many shoes than he can get that many guns...not the same thing.

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  34. For the love of Jimmy Choo! LOL! Great job!

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  35. I was expecting something different in the box at first! This was great, and I totally can understand an unrelenting shoe addiction.

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  36. That's great. When ya gotta shop, ya gotta shop!

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  37. It's always the shoes! Well done. Mine is #72

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  38. HaHaha! Boy can I relate to this! Great job, Isis!

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  39. I'm with the others who have mentioned your genius in the line "For the love of Jimmy Choo". Great piece, Isis!!!

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  40. I love a great pair of shoes! Nice job :)

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  41. Oh I loved this! I cringe when there is any kind of confrontation so I always look for something to make me feel better...shoes would work!!

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  42. As a reformed shoe addict I love this story :-)

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  43. I couldn't relate [he says in his $10 Wal*Mart slippers], but enjoyed the delivery. Nice work.

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  44. Love it!

    Btw, I have an award for you!
    http://readywritego.blogspot.com/2011/09/business-and-busy-ness.html

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  45. WOW! I didn't expect so many comments. I figured I would go in and respond to like 20 comments at the MOST.

    Thanks so much for all of the kind feedback. I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed it :). I've been swamped with editing, but tomorrow I plan to hit lots of blogs.

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  46. You deserve many more comments, Isis, because that was a great entry! I had a feeling it wasn't drugs from the beginning, but shoes? Never entered my mind, even though I've heard real stories similar. Great job! :)

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  47. Ha! Jimmy Choos? She'd better find a high-paying job.

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  48. I LOVE that line, "for the love of Jimmy Choo"

    Great dialog. I love the tension :)

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  49. This is great! Very well written. Love it :)

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  50. I loved how the husband froze the credit cards LOL! Well done! :-)

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  51. Absolutely awesome. I'm still laughing :-)

    Thanks for reading and commenting on my entry. I'm #76 :-)

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  52. Ha! Fantastic, Isis! The shoes surprised me:)

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  53. I liked the euphoric tide that washes in and submerges her fear! I couldn't come up with something like that. Awesome!

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  54. I really love shoes. I would so totally be this girl.

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  55. Very nicely done, kept me guessing till that great ending. Good one!

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  56. Hey there! You're short listed to go on to round 2 of the challenge. Congratulations!
    Edge of Your Seat Romance

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  57. Fantastic dialogue, really good piece.

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  58. Very good! You had me nervous there for a minute! Ha ha! Great job! :D

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  59. Hah! Love it! You made me lol with your Jimmy Choo reference!

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  60. Woo-hoo! I'm moving on to round 2.

    I'm thrilled everyone is getting a good chuckle out of my post!

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  61. Definitely sucked me in. I had to know what the addiction was. Great story :) Thanks for visiting my blog!

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  62. Heehee! I was picturing something a little sexier, sleekier and much more built to please at first. ;) *blushes*
    Love the Jimmy Choo line!! Lol!!

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  63. Love this! So very fun--and the fact that she was addicted to shoes made me laugh. :D

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  64. Love it - I'm glad I have my shoe addiction marginally under control hehe.

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  65. Ah, shopping therapy! Very nice touch!

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  66. For the love of Jimmy Choo, shopping therapy beats psychoanalysis! She’d better find a job. ;)

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  67. I agree that shopping therapy does beat psychoanalysis.

    Thank you for kind feedback. I really appreciate it.

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  68. Hi, Isis! I'm still trying to make it around to reading all of the entries! I'm 274. I followed your link from Angela Orlowski-Peart's blog! Nice to meet you!

    I thought your entry was great. I love the Jimmy Choo comment! Really brings out her voice!

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  69. Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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